School Sucks for Boys, Especially Mine...and Why is Bullying still Happening?

If you knew my son, Christian, you would know that he is the most difficult but sweet boy on earth! At a whopping 9 years old, he has been diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome. He has served numerous detentions on Fridays after school, been told by his peers at a practically unsupervised lunch (and I will quote this little mouth) "Your a stupid @ss F%*king F@ggot", and constantly harassed and embarrassed by crude pokes and comments. We of course reported this issue immediately.That same kid, a week later, told my son to "Shut the F@ck up" and slapped him across the face during lunch! I was told it would be "taken care of."  
Yes, the Teachers take a lunch break when the kids do. Which leaves 4-5 volunteers (moms) to watch over 300+ kids. 
It's a bit harder to be the kid in class that has obvious learning difficulties and social issues. Kids tend to pick on them because they are an easy target, and it seems kids are always picking on someone. 
The fourth grade girls (already mean girls) laugh and say he's gross. This one girl in his class must really love him (if that old saying is true) cause she is the meanest, most disrespectful, antagonistic, loud mouth he has ever seen. I know, kids will be kids. But if your kid was the one coming home with tears in his big helpless eyes, you would be upset too. This kind of behavior is sickening. 


My 7 year old son, Ethan,  has Dyslexia and ADD. He tends to bend to his older brother's need for a lot of attention and quietly sit by. Ethan has had his food spit on in lunch by other boys when he won't let them have it! I asked him what he did about it, and he quietly uttered "nothing." My voice struggled to stay calm as I asked why. He said he just sat there and didn't eat. I'm of course beside myself! When we reported this to the A.P. we were told that it would be "taken care of." And that I needed to advise my child to report this behavior immediately. That's all I heard of it, no update. No answers. No meetings with the Spitting kid or his parents! Nothing.
 My son is most likely not gonna stand up and point a finger at the kid who just spit in his lunch tray, no matter how much I insist he should. So he ended up, as my husband says, surviving because he ultimately has to fight his own battles instead of the teacher's doing it for him. This is how...Last week Ethan told me and my husband that he learned how to avoid getting picked on. We excitedly asked him how. He said "I just be bad too. Then they pick on someone else." AAHHH!!! I almost scooped my own eyes out of my head! That of course led to a long conversation led by my patient, and I mean patient, husband Aaron.


Are the teacher's so busy they can't see this going on? Christian told me that his teacher is usually on the computer during class, and thats why she doesn't see some things go on. What? 
Boys can hardly sit down for two minutes straight, let alone be expected to willingly do their work with a devoid teacher. Add learning disabilities and you have yourself a full blown circus ride!


And Who are raising children to be this way? Why do kids make fun of other kids? Do they learn it from cartoons? Or tween shows like icarly? Or are they watching their moms and dads, aunts and uncles, and grandparents gossip and tear people down? Do you ever remark on how the newscaster is tongue-tied , or how the lady on that commercial for insurance is annoying, do you gossip about your relatives in the car on the way home? Your kids are always listening. Always.
They can see as plain as day when someone points out other's shortcomings to cover their own. 
Maybe we are teaching our children to be judgmental. Maybe we are teaching hate. Maybe we are the reason for bullying in school.


Tell your kids it's not ok to judge others. It hurts people. Don't remark on a persons weight or freckles. Don't laugh when someone else is hurting. You wouldn't want someone to treat you in that way. This is something you have to teach your children over and over and over.


Educate your kids on others with disabilities and the characteristics of the people with them. They need to know what Down Syndrome is and depression. Teach your children about kids with ADHD and OCD. Teach them about children with Asperger's and Autusm. Do you even know what Asperger's is? Wiki it! Most children with Asperger's have social issues. Unlike Autistic children, Aspie's can seem more normal and therefore be judged as being rude, hyper, to talkative, spoiled sport, or just plain unfriendly.


My Aspie son cares for others really, but it doesn't come across that way. He is highly intelligent, but won't do his work in class. He scores off the charts on his FCATs but he has an F in writing. He is very articulate and a great public speaker, but can't make friends easily.
I know it seems hard to tell your children about things they may not fully understand, but remember that they can be 


He recently told me how he feels sorry for the kid in class that hurt him. He said "he is trying to be nice, but it's real hard for him. He probably is unhappy because his brother won't play with him." What a heart! I can't believe that he has such compassion like this at his age. He makes me feel like I should be more forgiving!!!


Why is there always this Bullying in school going on? Why do we teach about it  in such a carefree way? I received a ditto with 5 rules about bullying. My kids read it over and we talked about it. So why did it hardly get a notice?